Reflection Over Perfection

When people ask you, “who do you look up to in life?” The most common response is either your parents, grandparents, maybe a friend, or even sometimes your teacher. For me, I look up to my parents, with out a doubt, they helped me become the woman I am today and I am forever grateful for everything they have done for me.

Yet, when it comes to who we look up to in the Fashion and Beauty world, that is a completely different story – no offense mom and dad. It took me almost half of my life to discover what works for my body and my style, and I am still navigating myself and my body through different articles of clothing. Clothing that not only fits my curves, but also fits me, for me.

When I was younger I was surrounded by this idea that in order to “be pretty” or “to look hot”, I had to be “perfect” The illusion of perfection can be overwhelming, both mentally and physically. Perfect hair, perfect nails, perfect skin, perfect smile, perfect body. There was too much perfection, and not enough reflection. Like so many other girls going through puberty and dealing with all of the changes in our lives, I became exhausted with the concept of perfection. The funny thing is that I found, time after time, that I kept coming back to my roots, and what “I” am all about, and not this concept of what others think being perfect is all about. Perfection is non-existent, there is no such thing.

I am a big believer in “everything happens for a reason”, and I believe that I had to lose myself in order to find myself.

I’d like to think that I have, in a way, found myself. I found what I love to wear and what I want to wear. I have found the many gold hoops and necklaces. I have found what makeup looks best on my skin and face. And most importantly, I have found what makes me feel good, what makes me feel beautiful. And, if I am being completely honest, it didn’t take me until this past year to realize that the women I look up to the most in the Fashion and Beauty world, hold even more meaning in my life than ever before.

In many ways, I express myself through the inspirations that surround me on a day-to-day basis. Whether that’s from the women shown above, or from my Italian roots, I use what they have taught me towards what I want or choose to wear. Alexa taught me what it means to stay true to yourself, and not in an emotional way but, in an owning what you got and showing it off through glossy lips and slick back hair way. Olivia taught me what it means to take a risk; to wear what I want and to not be afraid of taking that chance. Rihanna taught me what it means to be fierce, because when it comes to picking out an outfit, you need a fresh and fierce face of makeup to go along with it. A good makeup look is key. Paloma taught me how to be confident with myself- so many times I try to hide behind a big wall of insecurities, but because of the influence I get from Paloma, I now can break down that wall and walk over its shambles. Bella taught me what it means to be free with my mind and heart towards Fashion. When stress and anxiety come through and we begin to worry about what others think of us or our outfits, we forget who we are, but when we find people to look up to, especially in the Fashion and Makeup world, and we start to realize although seem perfect, they are far from it, and we slowly begin to breathe and start again.

Lastly, Sophia taught me what it means to be one with my heritage.

Ever since I was a little girl, I was always fascinated with my Italian roots. From learning how to cook with my aunts, listening to my dad tell stories from his college days in the Bronx and how him and his friends would eat at Dominick’s, or grab a slice at Full Moon, and even get a pastry from Egidio’s Bakery, I loved every second of it. It wasn’t just the stories and the traditions that made me fall in love with being Italian, but the love and culture that followed. I don’t even know if my family realizes how much it means to me. Our Sunday dinners, the pictures and memories we share around the table, the smell of garlic and oil, and the warmth of my aunts arms every time they hug me. I cherish every moment entirely. My mom and dad tend to compare me to Sophia Loren, an Italian icon, who I am in absolute awe of, but it didn’t take until a couple years ago, for me to realize why they were comparing me to her. It wasn’t just her authenticity and beauty, it was also her strength and grace, fierce love towards the people she called family and friend. Hopefully you are taking away from this blog that the women that I look up to, are not just women I want look like, because that would just be toxic if I am being completely honest. Its not the matter of being them but, learning from them, and taking their life lessons to heart.

Until next time, I will leave you with this- Learn from the reflections, not the perfections.

Sii bella a modo tuo

(Be your own kind of beautiful)