Being Told No: How to Practice the Practice of Proving One Wrong

I’ve always held myself to the highest of standards. Some may say that’s damaging, others selfish, but for the few, it is perceived as a risk worth taking. I take great pride in who I have become: a woman who doesn’t let others walk all over her, is confrontational (when needed), and most importantly, never takes no for an answer. However, how does one reach a point where there is no other option than to accept the horror of being told no? You’ve all heard the saying, “Rejection is redirection” and although that is very true, why is it so hard to come to terms with such a cliche statement? I have been someone who envisioned myself as a force, as someone fearless, while having it all planned out. Someone who uses logic rather than emotion, yet why am I in this place of denial? The word no has always been a tactic to me, a word that has little meaning and can be manipulated very easily, but, in this case, rejection dances on the heartstrings of all I’ve worked for. I have to accept what is true: being told no.

Now, this may come off as dramatic but it all comes from a place of anger, passion, and simply being myself. But, when you’re living in a world of people given everything on a golden platter, we, the common population, fall into the stigma of having to sit back and drink from our plastic cups, as the “fortunate” flush our hard work down the drain. Most of us comply with the “well, that’s life”, but from the words of two very smart people I call my mom and dad, I say, “Well, fuck that”. Being told no is what drives the brilliant minds of young innovators, artists, politicians, and writers of our generation. Although it stings the wounds of self-doubt and drives the desire to give up, what better feeling is there than standing in front of those who said “you can’t” while proving you can? I would be lying to you and myself that throughout the years of constant admiration towards the working forces of the Fashion and Beauty industry, I too felt lost amongst the stacks of magazines I’ve collected since I was a young teenager.

From going to a place where I found comfort amongst the smell of glossy paper, strappy sandals, and the articulated words from editors and directors, to now being told you can’t go down a path where your dreams lie is one of those feelings you can’t tread lightly. I went from running through the current to floating above its surface. I saw my future self through a blurred lens and had to figure out a way to escape my blindness. However, when have I become someone who floats? This is MY life and no one is going to tell me no when all my life I’ve been swimming.

As someone who holds the greatest appreciation towards the characters brought to our screens, I have learned from the best and two of my favorite girls, Charlotte York from “Sex and the City” and Andrea Sachs from “The Devil Wears Prada”, where their spirit resembles all that I am and when their identity has been questioned and challenged by those around them, they worked for what they deserved. You and I are someone who will always be tested, who may be seen as weaker than the rest, who might have to stay up later than most for their name to be noticed, but with time and humility, those who once said “we can’t offer you a place here”, will soon ask for a seat at the table you built. So, although it stings and you are waiting for this wound to scab, know that as you stride amongst rejection and stand before the outcome of your hard work, all that will be left is a scar and what was once a feeling of doubt and unknowing will fade, as most wounds do.